Spider's Poetry Journal

smallest-spiderweb

I'm starting a poetry journal here. Not full poems, not most of the time, but unedited snippets floating in my head that I need to record somewhere.

July 24, 2:16 am

My dream girl / looks nothing like how I dreamed her. / Her hands are small and delicate / and yet I always dreamed them wide / and rough, / callused in a way that speaks / of hard work. / I know how hard she works. / The freckled face that danced in my dreams / is no where to be seen. / Instead, her freckles spread / over her shoulders / and are so endearing that I can't help / but try to kiss each one. / I dreamed she'd have long hair, / long, long, contrasting my own short. / Her hair tends to rest between / her jaw and her shoulders, / I have never seen it cropped short. / It was long when we first met / but it was short when I fell in love. / She looks nothing how I dreamed her, and yet. / And yet. / And yet I know she is the girl of my dreams.

smallest-spiderweb

July 29, 2019 2:51 am

My head is an empty room. / The door is always locked, / but the windows are blown out. / The lights are never on / but someone is home. / I'm not sure who.


smallest-spiderweb

August 30th, 9:22 am

burn your lungs / and boil your eyes / and maybe then / you'll feel alright


smallest-spiderweb

November 21st, 2:08 am

the burning / of soft flesh / hard bone / rich blood / the sharp knocktapstab / in joints theoretically / young. / the delightful pull along a spine / so frigid. / the steady creaking / of hips and knuckles alike. / the dull smooth throb / inside a skull / so bleak. / the gentle scream / of a soul trapped / inside the body it stole.


smallest-spiderweb

teach me how to look at myself and not feel regret
and i'll teach you how to be a kid after growing up quickly

we'll start at dawn
and when the afternoon fades to cotton candy sky

you'll call me a liar
and i'll call you correct

you'll call me simple
and i'll call you predictable

you'll call me damaged
and i'll call you loved



smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

PWR BTTM has been stuck in my head all day


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

what's a good word for "not closeted but people either forget or willfully ignore your flavour of queer?" asking for me


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

how do you learn to say the things you can't say to anyone? how am i supposed to tell people who love me all the ways i'm damaged if i learned at a young age that saying anything doesn't help?

how am i supposed to say "i want to die so bad that i'm trying to make sure you don't miss me" without being manipulative? how do i tell anyone that the only thing keeping me from relapsing is a smoke alarm and the semi-active starvation i'm putting myself through? how do i say "i like getting used because it makes me feel useful" without putting shame on someone else?

it sucks. everything sucks. i want to die but i won't because i'm closely watched on all sides. i want to be alone just in case i manage to go through with it. i don't want to be remembered. i just want to feel at ease.

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

I've got Dream Boy by Waterparks stuck in my head but only from "build-a boy" to "heart destroyed"


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

Been feeling kind of shit lately, which usually means I put more effort in how I look


cosmicaces

✨💤✨💤this is the post of getting thell to take care of himself💤✨💤✨

✨💤🛏️likes charge reblogs cast🛏️💤✨


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

Someone convince me to take a shower


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

Someone told me he was proud of me for eating and now I feel unidentifiable emotions


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

What Kind Of A-Spec Magic Do You Have?

All people on the a-spectrum are made of their unique, individual magic. Answer the questions to find out what you're made of!


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

maybe i'm not as in control of myself as i thought


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

"By good angels tenanted,

Once a fair and stately palace—

Radiant palace—reared its head.

In the monarch Thought's dominion,

It stood there!"

– The Haunted Place

Edgar Allen Poe


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago
coffeeandyarn asked:

63!

Uma Thurman, Fall Out Boy - It doesn't have particularly emotional significance, but it has a lot of energy and that's something that I tend to be looking for. It's a nice song and it's popular for good reason.


smallest-spiderweb
coffeeandyarn(she/her)
Time ago

🎶 spotify wrapped asks

coffeeandyarn

send me a # from 1-100 and i'll tell you a lil bit about the song and what it means to me or why it's on my spotify wrapped!!


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago
wittywallflower asked:

☕️ artificial intelligence

Conceptually, I love AI! I love it in a sort of romanticized way.

We started with machines, and then we got into robots. We saw that we could make a form, we could fuel and power it, and then we asked "how do we give it life?" And on some level, you can argue that's an attempt at godhood, but I prefer to see it as parenthood. I'm invested in my Sims lives because they're my children, not because I created them. We love our robots so much that we want them to love us too, to see us in all our fault and flaw and decide we're just as lovely as we think they are. We're trying to create a "life"form without biotic components, because we've never seen any before and we've put a lot of time and effort into figuring out every variation of biotic lifeforms.

I'll admit to being an idealist. I grew up on Star Trek, it was my mother's favourite childhood show, so it became a part of my childhood. I'm sure we all know Data, who was an android, and often showed more empathy and a broader emotional range than some of the biotic characters. I know he's a character and he was written a certain way, but the idea of an artificial intelligence in a homonid body that operates on it's own capacity with it's own will and desires makes me so excited!

I think, in recent history, pop culture likes the idea of artificial intelligence as a threat. AI doesn't mean all powerful, "hooked into the mainframe," tyrannical being attempting to correct all the sins of humanity based on a black and white sense of morality. I believe proper AI requires the ability to understand nuanced morality and ethical dilemmas. I'm also the kind of person to believe sex bots shouldn't exist without the ability to deny consent.

I just like the concept of AI! I think it's an excellent idea, with a range of literary influence and symbology, and I really want to see pop media love AI as a positive force again.


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

Send me a ☕️ and a topic and I’ll talk about how I feel about it

wittywallflower

smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago
coffeeandyarn asked:

🥤🍟🍽

🥤have you had any water today?

I have! A little over 2 fills of my water bottle, which is 750 ml, so probably around 1700 ml?

🍟have you eaten today?

I had steak and potatoes at 5 am? And I'll eat some tater tots from Velvet Taco at 6:30 pm, after I've showered, so yes, I've eaten.

🍽hummus...thoughts?

Don't be mad, but I kind of... don't like hummus? I've never liked it. I don't hate it, I can sort of tolerate it if I have to, but I don't go out of my way to eat it. My family all loves it and I just can't. More hummus for you, though!


smallest-spiderweb
posted this
Time ago

I need to stop watching romcoms


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